Wandering Thoughts

Being a creative thinker has always contributed to a sense of madness. I often see the world in a completely different lense than others. I approach many problems differently than others, some of the problems never get solved because of my creative ideas. Creating is definitely a blessing, but it can feel like a blockage at times. I find myself distracted by small details that nobody else would even notice. For me I love to create with writing, painting, yarn, and crafts. But I am not at all interested in decorating a room, this type of creating is not my thing. And as a creative, if we aren’t interested in what is being created. It can feel like pure torture. We as humans are all creatives in one way or another. Each with our own perspective and approach.

I can not remember a time in life that I wasn’t creating something, from a young age I always loved crafts. Although this is a physical form of creating, when you are a creative thinker even solving a math problem can become creative. As a child I never liked math, I couldn’t remember the rules or think about them objectively. Now fast forward to today I absolutely love math. I have learned that there are so many ways to approach a problem and then sort it out. By being open to the possibilities it has made the entire concept easier to digest. My creative thinking has come under many discussions when I haven’t seen eye to eye with others. I have a strong personality so when I feel my thoughts are under attack I often begin to over explain. I have learned through these experiences that in life we are all entitled to our own opinions and perspectives, it is okay to have different views. 

We all have two ears and one mouth for a reason. It is so we can do twice the amount of listening over talking. This reigns true, often when we hear others talking we are already thinking of our response before they are finished talking. When we do this, we are totally closed off to what they are saying, and we aren’t responding to the conversation we are just responding to be right. This path doesn’t lead to growth, it actually leads to ignorance. I have been on a journey of growth for some time now. It has almost become a trend. But what is true growth? How do we achieve this? Is this an elevation of thought, or are we ignorant? Have you ever heard the term ignorance is bliss? I learned this term when I was a teenager, but I didn’t understand what it meant for many years. Now I can see that when we are behaving ignorant we are simply not even open to learning or expanding our thinking, this is a dangerous pattern that most of us participate in. 

I have always found my mind wondering because of my creativity, it takes a lot for me to focus and stay on topic. Sometimes this wandering leads to such a beautiful transition that you cannot see where the first part began and how you ended up here. Other times the wandering can become such a distraction, that as you try to concentrate on one thing you keep getting side tracked and never finish what you had intended to work on. My brain has always been in the wandering thought, when I was young I would get so frustrated. I would feel like I couldn’t concentrate through small tasks, like reading or homework. I never spoke about this struggle but I remember in particular having that hardest time taking AR reading tests in school. I loved to read, but I hated to test on the book. It would always make me feel so overwhelmed and distracted, I could never remember what I originally read, I couldn’t enjoy the reading because I would be so concerned about trying to remember every detail. This pressure may have added to the anxiety around my wandering thoughts; and dare I say made my thoughts wander even more. It wasn’t until recently that I have been able to slightly control my wandering mind, to lean into it; or quiet the noise when I am unable to listen. I can now see these thoughts as a beautiful opportunity that most never receive. My son has this same wandering mind, this has made the adventure of school difficult at times. I get serious mom guilt over his behavior or choices throughout the day. It is very hard to let go and know that our children are individuals who will have to take responsibility for their own actions. My son’s nickname is Busy Bee from me, because he never stops moving. I do not mind this about him, but I do know that it can be extremely overwhelming for others.

I have struggled with focusing my whole life but I never stopped to consider others may also have this issue. As I sit and write this it struck me that my son’s brain probably is creative just like mine. I have struggled with his attentiveness since he was little, I would be so frustrated feeling like I was the only parent being talked to at the end of each day about his behavior. What may look like inattentiveness is actually his creativity. Children do not know how to control these thoughts, instead they let them run their entire being. When I contemplate this I actually think it is a beautiful thing. As adults we have been confined to conform to a system that has been fed to us for so many years. But children on the other hand are not tainted yet, they are exactly as they should be. I realize that all of our affiliates from childhood mold us and tell us who we are as humans and how we should behave. Don’t get me wrong I believe we should be taught right from wrong, but I don’t think we as humans need to be controlled or institutionalized into such rigid behaviors. By telling someone to be confined to one space can eventually lead them to no longer dream or think outside of the box that is told to us as being okay. Who are we as humans to think only one way of doing something can be correct. 

Our status is predetermined by many factors. From birth we are exposed to different scenarios pre-determined by our circumstances.  I took a sociology class that was so interesting I learned that; your class status will directly impact the trajectory of our lives. Social status determines the neighborhood, educational facilities, and even the jobs that you will attain. Now we all know that there may be status inconsistencies that do happen but for the most part whatever class status you are born into you will most likely stay in that status. This is largely due to the conditioning that we go through in our education and from our parents. This happens so seamlessly that many wouldn’t even believe it is a thing. We are fed particular language and opportunities due to our direct experiences. It is said that children of middle class families are taught to follow directions and rules through threats of punishments. Children that are more privileged are encouraged to explore opportunities and are afforded the opportunity from the start with more prestigious schools. From this factor alone, children born in lower class status will follow what they are told is the “right thing”. Taught to go to school, get good grades, go to college, get a degree and then find a job to work until you retire. None of these qualities are bad but those that are born into an upper class status are presented privileges that others are not. This type of sorting of humans happens so seamlessly in our society that we don’t even notice that it is happening. I realize now looking back at my life that the conditioning that happens to us as children forms our beliefs for the rest of our lives in what we feel we are capable of achieving. 

As a woman we are subconsciously taught that we only belong in certain types of jobs or fields. This sub-programing happens all around us, in ads and commercials. In the businesses that we enter on a daily basis these subconscious images tell each and everyone one of us what we can and cannot achieve. I know you are probably thinking this is not the early 1900’s so much as changed. Correct, so much has changed for women, they can now attend colleges and climb the corporate ladder. The unspoken reality is the resistance to this growth for women is still very present today. Women can achieve so much more than what we are told. But it is going to take a true shift of our mindset. And when I specify my mindset, I am not exclusively speaking to women. The shift needs to happen among all of society. Shifts in mindset never come all at once, we need to take steps towards believing that anything is truly possible. We need to also take stands in a productive manner against any advisories. Women are the glue in society, and so much is expected of them. They are expected to be so many things, yet the vast majority of women feel guilty and inadequate for so many things. Women are expected to raise children within a full time job in itself, many of them still work and care for a house as well. I am not saying that men do not help in these tasks. What I am saying is realistically women carry a huge weight of expectations. It is a sub programming that has been embedded in society for many generations. Many women feel an immense amount of guilt for this burden they carry and don’t feel comfortable speaking about it even amongst other women. Women know that when they have children, they may have gaps in their employment due to caring for their new family. Motherhood can easily impact a woman’s career goals and status in the workplace. Women may be looked over for a promotion or a higher position due to the fact that she is in her child bearing years and may be out of work for long periods of time. Women and children both deserve to have this time together, but it shouldn’t affect women negatively if they choose to work and build a career. We have come such a long way in the last 100 years, but this process is not finished. There is still a long way to go before men and women will become more equal. 

Equality will never be fulfilled completely since men and women are created differently, with different motivations and qualities. I believe that women should be able to have every opportunity that men have, but that women shouldn’t be expected to be the same as men. We aren’t the same as them, we have different qualities and skills to offer the world. The balance of differences is what makes everything run smoothly. I challenge you to embrace the differences and use them to your advantage. 

Yesterday I read something that gave me chills, it was on the togo bag of my sandwich. The bag stated that they were in the business of love, respect, and acceptance of others. And that it had nothing to do with the sandwiches but if they followed this model the rest would come. To be honest, the sandwich shop is very busy, and I cannot lie that the sandwiches are delicious. It struck me though, and it is true that when you treat others with love, kindness, and respect nothing but good can come from it. When I think of the places I like to go, I particularly think of the service and how it makes me feel, not necessarily the product. This attitude of treating other humans so kindly really stood out to me, and I plan to work this into my life. Trying my best to treat all humans with patience, kindness, and love first and foremost. I challenge you to analyze your thinking, are you pondering the world around you? Or are you stuck in the same pattern of thinking over and over again? Until next time asalamu alaikum (peace be upon you).